Last spring, I met with a group of colleagues and asked them to name some words to describe their experience of the pandemic over the past year. Words such as “exhausting,” “anxiety-producing,” “lonely,” “uncertain” and “challenging” made the list right away. No doubt, we have all had our struggles.
In their book, “Working with Spiritual Struggles,” Ken Pargament and Julie Exline noted, “COVID-19 posed an existential crisis, threatening and destroying the lives of people all over the world, throwing our economies into a tailspin, disconnecting people from their webs of support, forcing major disruptions of many hopes and dreams. But COVID-19 was more than an existential crisis. For many of us, it was a spiritual crisis as well — shaking, damaging, or destroying those things we hold most sacred.”
Though most of us prefer calm, predictable lives, we know all too well that struggles are a part of life. Whether we face the challenges of change, transition, or uncertainty, we have learned to accept that there are times in life when we will all struggle.
Throughout the pandemic, we have faced physical struggles to stay healthy and strong as well as mental health struggles to endure, hope, and stay calm. We want to be our best in mind and body, but what about our spirit? What happens if our struggle is a spiritual one?
According to Pargament and Exline, spiritual struggles are “expressions of tension, conflict, or strain that center around whatever people view as sacred.” Spiritual struggles involve a process of grappling with concerns and questions such as: “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “How should I live my life?” or “How do I make sense of suffering?”
Triggered by mental health issues or life stressors, spiritual struggles are real. Pargament and Exline state, “Like the spices of a wonderful dish that go unidentified but are a critical part of the recipe, spiritual struggles are an often hidden but integral part of life.”
In a letter to her spiritual director, Mother Teresa once wrote, “I am told that God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.” Her spiritual struggle was real.
After the death of his wife, C.S. Lewis penned “A Grief Observed,” in which he wrote, “Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”
Spiritual struggles are woven throughout scripture in the lives of the prophets and kings, disciples and apostles. Moses struggled in the wilderness. Hannah struggled with her inability to bear a child. Elijah struggled in a cave hiding from his enemies. King David struggled with tremendous guilt after his failure. Even Jesus struggled in the Garden of Gethsemane as he faced the difficult road ahead of him.
Pargament and Exline name several types of spiritual struggles that people may face, including divine struggles, interpersonal struggles or moral struggles. Divine struggles occur when there is anger or disappointment with God. The struggle may involve feeling punished or abandoned by God. Interpersonal struggles can take place when conflicts arise with other people or institutions concerning sacred issues. When people wrestle internally with tension and guilt, they may find themselves experiencing a moral struggle. When faced with adversity, people may struggle with doubts and feel confused about religious/spiritual beliefs.
Though spiritual struggles are a natural and normal part of life, they can generate distress and disorientation. Spiritual resources can help people navigate a spiritual struggle. For some, this may include readings from scripture or sacred texts, prayer or mindfulness meditation. Connecting in a small group or supportive community where there is respect, active listening, and no judgement can create a safe environment where people can move towards wholeness.
Pargament and Exline conclude that as distressing as spiritual struggles may be, they also create opportunities for development and growth. My colleagues attested to that truth. As our conversation about the impact of the pandemic continued, words like “creativity,” “endurance,” “resilience,” and “adaptability” also began to emerge.
The Rev. Becky Evans Glass is Executive Director at Peninsula Pastoral Counseling Center, Newport News. She can be reached by email at beglass@peninsulapastoral.org
